So we all have those times when someone rips your heart out of your chest, sticks a fork in it and declares it to be done. The classic response is to get a pint of Haagen Daaz [Oh, who am I kidding. Several gallons of Haagen Daaz.], curl up with "The Notebook" and complain to everyone that will listen for the following three months about how your life is over. But if you're like me, you have "comfort foods" that require a console and controller. [No, not power tools...put those away! Your buzz saw wont bring him back!....unless....]
Here are three of my favorite games to nurse you through a break-up with your snuggle-buddy...from the end of your epic fairy tale romance, to a nasty break-up with that fuckface, to your Mr Muffin moving far away for a [admittedly fantastic and certainly well-deserved] job promotion. Chin up, you. Somewhere, there's a princess in another castle....so to speak.
Click the jump to feel better about your lonely life!
[too bad Dogmeat wont be your boyfriend.]
Fallout 3
My current game of choice/unhealthy obsession. The great thing about Fallout 3 is that there are SO MANY FREAKIN' SIDE QUESTS that this game is going to take a minimum of eternity to beat, not to mention the constant question of whether you're going to be good or evil. Do you help the ghouls take over Tenpenny Tower or do you kill them all? Do you blow up Megaton and kill a bunch of innocent people, or do you get on Mister Burkes' bad side and deal with hit men trying to take you out? One of the best ways to handle a break up is to completely immerse yourself into something, and with a world map that takes like two game days to cross, you'll fall face first into Fallout and be so distracted that you wont care about the diabolical ex in Sacramento that is literally poisoning the entire state with his evil. Not only that, but when you choose the "good" path and gain a bunch of karma, you'll feel all warm and fuzzy. And, lastly, when I'm sad, I like to blow shit up. Its you and me, Super Mutants.
[oh god, where's my haagen daaz...]
Final Fantasy X
Look, say what you will about Final Fantasy X, but this is a franchise that is KNOWN for their epic storylines [I don't even want to talk about the crystal chronicles.], and they just flat-out outdo themselves in the tenth installment. Many have complained to yours truly, when I say that this is my favorite Final Fantasy, that the game is TOO cinematic and long, to the point of being wishy-washy. Um, DUH. This is the game equivalent to a chick flick; in addition to having a VERY involving story-line in general, at the center of it all is a romance between Yuna and Tidus; classic rescue-the-princess story...kind of. This game doesn't so much have the million side-quests that Fallout 3 does, but just the main storyline is so expansive that, with the [admittedly frequent] cut scenes, you'll be working on this for weeks. And if you don't cry at the end, WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE.
[d'awwwwww, the firefly festival or whatever the hell it was called]
Harvest Moon 64
Bonus for experts: apparently these individuals did a Harvest Moon Cosplay, complete with Blue Feather [the in-game engagement ring]. For once, Maria is the cutest of the bunch.
My current game of choice/unhealthy obsession. The great thing about Fallout 3 is that there are SO MANY FREAKIN' SIDE QUESTS that this game is going to take a minimum of eternity to beat, not to mention the constant question of whether you're going to be good or evil. Do you help the ghouls take over Tenpenny Tower or do you kill them all? Do you blow up Megaton and kill a bunch of innocent people, or do you get on Mister Burkes' bad side and deal with hit men trying to take you out? One of the best ways to handle a break up is to completely immerse yourself into something, and with a world map that takes like two game days to cross, you'll fall face first into Fallout and be so distracted that you wont care about the diabolical ex in Sacramento that is literally poisoning the entire state with his evil. Not only that, but when you choose the "good" path and gain a bunch of karma, you'll feel all warm and fuzzy. And, lastly, when I'm sad, I like to blow shit up. Its you and me, Super Mutants.
[oh god, where's my haagen daaz...]
Final Fantasy X
Look, say what you will about Final Fantasy X, but this is a franchise that is KNOWN for their epic storylines [I don't even want to talk about the crystal chronicles.], and they just flat-out outdo themselves in the tenth installment. Many have complained to yours truly, when I say that this is my favorite Final Fantasy, that the game is TOO cinematic and long, to the point of being wishy-washy. Um, DUH. This is the game equivalent to a chick flick; in addition to having a VERY involving story-line in general, at the center of it all is a romance between Yuna and Tidus; classic rescue-the-princess story...kind of. This game doesn't so much have the million side-quests that Fallout 3 does, but just the main storyline is so expansive that, with the [admittedly frequent] cut scenes, you'll be working on this for weeks. And if you don't cry at the end, WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE.
[d'awwwwww, the firefly festival or whatever the hell it was called]
Harvest Moon 64
How do you get over your boy sleeping with half of the city and dumping you in a text message? [YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP, by the way] Create a new fantasy relationship with one of the 64-bit villagers and get a WHOLE FUCKIN' FIELD OF COWS, that's how! Harvest Moon is a farming simulator spanning many different Nintendo consoles [my favorite is 64, but I also rocked out on a gameboy and gamecube], in which you put together a specific farm for some reason [save the homeland, impress your asshole dad, make out with a fairy, etc], which also includes marrying a babe [Ann! <3], having a baby [is that weird?] and riding a horse around. Okay, babies, horses and a perfect marriage? Do you get it now? This is the perfect life you wish you had, and this game is a chance to live in it...even though in real life, you're sitting in a dark apartment eating the aforementioned Daaz of Haagen.
Bonus for experts: apparently these individuals did a Harvest Moon Cosplay, complete with Blue Feather [the in-game engagement ring]. For once, Maria is the cutest of the bunch.
Keep your chin up!
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