Just in time for Shark Week...

Greetings, troglodytes!

I'll leave it up to you to figure out the inspiration for today's post, but since we're a girly blog, lets talk about periods. Aunt Flo. Lady time. The opening sequence to 'Saving Private Ryan.' That scene in The Shining when the elevator doors open, and ... well, you get the idea.

[for the love of god, stay out of the ocean this week]

Click the jump to discover four nerdy ways to cleverly allude to the fact that everyone should stay the fuck away from you, and a few ways to cope. Sorry, fellas!

Four Ways to Nerdishly Allude to Your Lady Time
[and tell your nerdy boo to GTFO]

"The princess is in another castle."
"Sure, we can bone...but I've set up machine gun turrets in there."
"My vagina just used toxic, and it was a One Hit KO."
"[LOCKED - HARD. Requires Lockpick Skill of a million.]"

[Have some more? Don't fucking e-mail me about it, that's weird.]

If that weren't enough, here's something slightly more pleasant. Now you can bleed for a week and somehow not die...in style.

[As you can see, I got my looks from my Aunt Flo.]

A delightful company known as Harebrained! released a line of panties specifically for that special time in the month when you want to reach into someone's throat, rip out their spine, and wave it in the air. [FATALITY.] One of them is, sadly, sold out, but the rest are for sale and, hey, they're made in the USA! From what I hear from Gala Darling, they're mega comfortable and probably better than what you're wearing during the week from hell as it is.

[Ladies, lets keep this secret and one small shred of our dignity...but you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.]

Now go put on some sweatpants, pop in some Sailor Moon, and eat an entire tub of ice cream, gorgeous! Or if you're like me, take out your frustration on the Super Mutants that have kidnapped everyone from Big Town...who the fuck gave that asshole a rocket launcher?!