Tuesday, February 28, 2012

:(

Roundup. Probs.

How to be a girl, who dresses like boys, from The Big Bang Theory

I MUST HAVE THIS

Oh, wait, these are what I really wanted.




Underemployment isn't making Stumble any better

Yea, this is accurate.


Oops! I forgot to say it might be NSFW!

Might be the very best cosplay I've ever seen. Ever.

Shit.

um, I need a rageface for this.

LOL CLEVERBOT.

Pray.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Five Reality TV Shows I Will Not be Watching

Greetings, long lost people.

I've been bedridden (mostly) for the past few days, so there hasn't been much to do other than watch movies, TV series, etc and contemplate how I could feasibly remove my own kidney. My Mister Honeybee has graciously offered me the use of his Netflix account, and I've been delighting in the BBC program 'The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret." But now, on day three of the long stretch of hell that is my right kidney, I've entered a dark place.


That's right, reality TV.

Now, as anyone else who was growing up in the nineties, I was aware of Reality TV at its inception, MTV's Real World and Road Rules (back when MTV had the occasional musical programming). I remember digging a couple of seasons, but it wasn't long until Reality TV just fucking EXPLODED. Big Brother and Survivor were basically just regurgitated versions of Road Rules and Real World, with higher stakes (in both cases, people being eliminated or kicked off of the show, ultimately leaving a winner), but then came American Idol, the Bachelor/Bachelorette, the various RichWhiteGirlProblems shows, so on and so forth and blargh. It's gotten out of control.

Admittedly, there are some Reality Shows that are kind of awesome. I love Gordon Ramsey and I'm going to make babies with him and we will ride a stallion off into the sunsethe is incredibly talented and interesting to watch. DO ME, GORDON. Also can you teach me how to make delicious things to eat without setting my kitchen on fire? I'm a big fan of The Colo
ny (which you should watch, if you haven't) and, without a bit of shame, I LOVE Rupaul's Drag Race, purely because drag queens are like, awesome, duh. Drag queens are the only reason that I know how to walk in heels.

But in perusing Netflix's selection of streaming reality TV, I don't even know what these shows are about. Since I'm far too lazy to give them a chance, I'm left with my own hypotheses and imagination.


Title: Sons of Guns
Cover Picture: Like five burly looking dudes, most angry and one suspiciously grinning about something, and the resident hot girl (clearly not anyone's son)
This Must Be About: When you call someone a 'son of a gun,' you're telling them that they're being a prick (or, in resident hot girl's case, a cunt-wad). So, these six assholes have made a show about being assholes. I assume they shoot people, further contributing to the assholery. Resident Hot Girl is probably banging at least one of these guys, but no one is ever as attractive as they look on the cover.



Title: BBQ Pitmaster
Cover Picture: Some d-bag is blowing fairy dust in my face! Is that a prison uniform?
What It Must Be About: This man was recently incarcerated for barbecuing pitbulls. He is also a wizard of some kind.







Title: Whale Wars
Cover Picture: Some guys cheering on a whale that appears to have just jumped INTO the ocean, perhaps from the top of that lighthouse in the background. Yeah, Go Whale!!
What it Must Be About: Its whale vs whale. Two whales enter, one whale leaves. Rock 'em, Sock 'em whales. This is the cockfight of the sea, and these guys are the highest bidders. PETA must be pissed the hell off about this whale-on-whale brawling. Sudden Death could possibly involve making the whale face-off with a bear in a scuba suit. Actually, on second thought, I'd totally watch this.


Title: EXTREME SURVIVAL PACK!!!!1
Cover Picture: A man appears to be in water that is very cold, and there is also rain and lightning. A poor choice for a vacation destination.
What it Must Be About: So pack...like wolves? ICE WATER-WOLVES versus this guy. Some random dude is pulled out of a Wendy's in middle America, thrown into the arctic sea, and is forced to fight a pack of ice water-wolves. Can he survive? Probably not. But if he does, the producers of the show will award him a 5.00 certificate to the aforementioned Wendy's.



Title: Kourtney & Khloe take Miami
Cover Picture: Two of the three original cast members of To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (sorry, Wesley Snipes) on a boat, with a baby. They appear to be floating above a city somewhere.
What it Must Be About: First of all, on the cover, there's an accent (no idea what the hell this is actually called) over the e, which makes it sound like 'Clo-Ehh.' I hate her already. Now that they've stolen this baby and brought it aboard their flying boat-ship, they're ready to destroy the city and take it as their own. The city of Miami will burn. As these demonesses cackle and celebrate their victory, one man will rise from the rubble...




Till next time!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

"poor lulu is sick" roundup

that's right. i said it.


25 ways you know you're awesome.

BEST. THING. EVER.


Some fucking amazing portraits

SECOND. BEST. THING. EVER.




Buy this for me and I will love you forever.


Rule 63 Jack is awesome.



The Oogie Boogie Man, however, even better.

Oh, hello there, Captain.

One of the most creative cosplays ever.

This is one of the worst things I have ever seen.

One of the best.

UMMMMM OKAY.


Welcome to the world.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

"BUT YOU PROMISED" roundup

Seriously. We will be awesome soon. SEEEERRRRRIOOOOUUUUSSSSLLLLLYYYYY.




Don't worry, this is SERIOUSLY the last one I'll post.



This guy was diagnosed with TB and placed in quarantine. When this video was posted, he'd been in for 55 days.


You guys have probably seen this before. Oh well. It gave me chills.


Watch this. Now.

TAM Panel - Our Future in Space from JREF on Vimeo.



As I love men's fashion, here's a list of new ways to tie a tie

Find more of these at PopHangover

Famous black and white photos colorized? Yes. Please.

There are more of these. But look, hipsters. Cool.


While we're on the subject...



No, my macbook pro can not.



As ladies, our lives are hard.

This has literally never been truer.

Yes, I took this screen shot. I think I found my dream job.


4Chan is hilarious.

Monday, January 23, 2012

The (unoffical) offical "Felix is lazy" roundup

Yeah, I said it. What.

Things I saw that I thought you might like (online):


This tickles me on so many levels.


I like the classy music.





Star Wars Uncut: Director's Cut from Casey Pugh on Vimeo.



Pros and Cons of marrying your Prince

Epic Portal earrings

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GAME

I am a newly converted vegetarian, and I might still eat this

Our best friend, Quentin Tarantino (seriously, he's my BFF after Lulu) shares with us AND US ALONE his top 11 movies of the year

This is mostly scary because it is true that I can only raise one eyebrow, and it's my right.

Lulu and I often talk about this, so now you can talk about it with us, too.



Things I saw that I thought you might like (PICS):

I have literally never felt this old before.


Love, pure and simple


I refuse to explain myself.


Laugh, or GTFO!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Guess what I'm totally doing!

Greetings, Jurassic friends!

The hip cats at Geekologie just posted a link to something more awesome than awesome...pictures of yourself riding a dinosaur!!



In case anyone is wondering, I'm totally doing this because it is the best ever, and will be posting it all over the internet.

Ch-Ch-Check it out!

xoxo
Lu

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I want a soft shell, and this is a stick-up.

Greetings, taco fans!

The 30 best taco-related crimes:

On the road again round up

Hey follower-type people!

I'm once again driving my bat-mobile named Kickapoo across the country (no, I won't be taking questions, I'm trying to lecture here) so this one might be a doozy. Doozy? Yup, blogger, that's how I'm spelling it, deal with it.

My life.

This is why I respect my phone, as to not anger the demon inside.



Bad-guy One



Bad-guy Two



Good-guy One (Also I'm making this, don't you doubt it).



Yes, I did this. DEAL WITH IT.








DEEEEEEAAAAAL with it.

Monday, January 9, 2012

I prefer the purple, too.

Greetings, sentimental people.

Not much to say other than check out this awesome article and cry your eyes out.

Boy Stands Up for Younger Brother

xoxo

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Shit "People" Say

Greetings, stereotypical people!

A little while back, I shared the first episode of "Shit Girls Say," which has blown up the internet with its awesomeness. (Much like I did back in the day...mmmmyep...) The awesomeness has respawned in the form of not only sequels to the original, but spin offs for other categories of obnoxious people. Check it out:

Shit Girls Say, pt. II:

i KINDA WANNA HOTDOG!!! :)

Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls:


Shit Black Girls Say:


Shit Guys Say:


Shit Gay Guys Say:


Maybe WE should make one, Felix! "Shit Awkward Nerd Girls Say"

"Dude, I LOVE going to Gamestop, its like that scene in Fantasia when all of the dinosaurs turn around and freak out because the T-rex has arrived." -Lu, in regards to being a girl in a video game store

"Dude, starting with almost ANYTHING is a pain in the ass. That's how you know it's a real game, not some sugarcoated bullshit pandering to today's "gamers"." -Felix, in regards to Pokemon Red/Blue

"Dude?" -Lulu

"Dude." -Felix

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A Very Portal Christmas Tree

Greetings....you.

I'm already nostalgic for x-mas and it was only a week ago. FUCK YEAH, CHRISTMAS ALL YEAR!!



From Geekologie/Reddit/Intarwebz at large.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Day of rest roundup

HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING NEW YEAR BITCHES.

It's 2012, so you know what that means. We've got just under 11 months to live. I expect I'll see you all at the end-of-the-world party Lulu and I will be hosting on December 21st 2012. Shhh, she doesn't know about it yet.

For those of you who don't take part in modern-world time constructs, sorry. I'll stop talking about the new year now!

Also we never talked about Christmas. This is what I got for you all. Sorry, it's not wrapped. And it's late. But it's beautiful.

You're welcome.



You're even more welcome.


PEEKTURES!


I don't know about you, but this is my hope for snowmen.

This is probably the best story ever. Even if it's false.



This is the truth about me. Sorry, y'all.


WE ALL KNOW THIS IS TRUE.


Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm... puregenius.