IDIOT BOX: LIMBO!

The Crying Game[s]

Greetings, single people!

So we all have those times when someone rips your heart out of your chest, sticks a fork in it and declares it to be done. The classic response is to get a pint of Haagen Daaz [Oh, who am I kidding. Several gallons of Haagen Daaz.], curl up with "The Notebook" and complain to everyone that will listen for the following three months about how your life is over. But if you're like me, you have "comfort foods" that require a console and controller. [No, not power tools...put those away! Your buzz saw wont bring him back!....unless....]

Here are three of my favorite games to nurse you through a break-up with your snuggle-buddy...from the end of your epic fairy tale romance, to a nasty break-up with that fuckface, to your Mr Muffin moving far away for a [admittedly fantastic and certainly well-deserved] job promotion. Chin up, you. Somewhere, there's a princess in another castle....so to speak.

Click the jump to feel better about your lonely life!

Aaaaaaand....BOOTY!

Good news, somebody!!

In addition to Felix's Boobs Vol. 2 post from earlier today, we have some more slightly less safe for work goodies for you...prepare for some Portal 2 goodness, booty-style.

[Felix said that we need to start using cuts, because we don't want anyone getting fired. So...here's my first cut!]

I can't stop thinking about...

How much I want to play Brink. Okay, sure it's out, I have [some] money [I really shouldn't be spending on games right now]. But I'm kind of living in three places right now- one(1) my kind, loving, amazing parent's house in Portland, two(2) my kind, loving, amazing boyfriend's house in Bloomington (Illinois, because that Indiana one is pure silliness), and three(3) a storage unit (that is neither kind, nor loving, though it is amazingly full of stuff). My (read: our/his) Xbox is in the home in Bloomington, the PlayStation3 cuts my eyes (seriously, why do I need those lines to be that sharp?), and I run a Mac (and because I think PC Gaming is silliness unless you use a real controller, not a stupid mouse. I mean, come on).

(I clearly need to stop using so many parenthesizes. Sorry.)

Anyways, I'm not really a big fan of games that rely on my, um, shall we say... ability to aim at things while running using two sticks and a trigger. Seriously, unless it has some kind of pause-the-game-and-allow-me-to-aim system, as with the Fallout VATS system, I'm probably boned.

Though I may talk like a life-long gamer, I've owned exactly three systems on my own, five if you add joint holdings into the mix. When I was a kid, I had a GameBoy brick. That's the one before the GameBoy Advanced, and the GameBoy Color, and it looked like this:

How far we've come...

I played Kirby's Dreamland on it and was terrible at it. Really. I got stuck after level 2 almost every single time. I now own a Nintendo DS, which is made infinitely cooler by the TriForce on it, and it's tiny little Mario carrying case.

It's okay for you to be as jealous as you are right now.

Again, as a child I owned a N64 with my brother (he now fully owns it, and that boyfriend I was talking about earlier bought me one of my own), and played Mario Kart, GoldenEye 007, and Quest64 (it is really called that). Extra points to anyone who can tell me in 100 words or less how lame Quest64 is. Plus the fact that I never really learned to play any of those games. I now also co-own an Xbox 360, the only Microsoft product I can say I'm proud to be "co-owner" of.

The number of games I've actually played all the way through is quite slim. But I say it does not matter. I can be a gamer no matter how many games I've played. And Brink has caught my attention. Sure, I'm excited for Portal 2, but people are done talking about it. Everyone has beat it, hacked it, and pushed it to the wayside, allowing me to be excited in my own little bubble. Now, however, all my favorite geeksites are all posting about Brink. Which, of course, means that I can not stop thinking about it. Even though I know very, very little about it.

Behold, the comic the two men who will be my best friends created, just for me (not true):

Mike Krahulik, you are my hero. Via Penny Arcade.

I find this very funny. You probably should, too.

In other news, according to one of my friends, I've reached the end of the internet, proven by the fact that Stumble keeps giving me the same pages. This is the last original Stumble I got, and I'm addicted. Seriously. I downloaded the mp3, and have been listening on repeat.



His stuff is pretty awesome.